Time for a Laugh...

I totally stole these from my sister-in-law's blog, she has the best random posts ever.


If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.




If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle.
If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.




If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.




If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.




Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!




The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water, and at least one armless hand.




Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run "the you know what" away.
(Wasn't sure if I should post this one considering... and yet I did)




Hurricanes, animal corpses and your potential new tattoo have a lot in common.
Think about it.




Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy.
Also, they tend to rub their hands together maniacally.




If a door is closed, karate chop it open.




After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.




If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that.




If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like "you know what".




While standing next to a beehive if you drop giant jellybeans, and your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.




Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.




A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.