Now you speaka my language...

At this phase in life there's not enough paper in the world to jot down all the funny things that come out of my kids' mouths. Here's a few I've managed to save over the last few months...


Avery: "I bet you guys only went to college for one day and skipped the rest. That's why you're not a very good mom and dad. You should learn from us."


Avery: "Can I just skip being a teenager?"
Mom: "Sounds good to me. Can I get that in writing?"


Stetson: "I don't want my nose anymore...it keeps getting boogers!! Ugh!!"


Mom: "Do you have any questions about starting Kindergarten? Are you worried about anything?"
Avery: "I hope I don't fall in love. I want to wait til I'm a mommy to fall in love."


Avery: "Gage, you don't have to be scared of the thunder. It's just the angels banging their drums up in heaven."


Danny: "Don't rub other peoples beans."


Stet: "What's that stuff called that bees give you when you're nice to them?"
Avery: "Honey."
Stet: "Yeah. Dad, can I have some honey?"


Avery: "Who's the 'Stick-o-Tuna Man'?" (while singing "Stick it to the Man")


Danny: "If you could numb your mouth through your bum would it make your breath smell like a fart?"


Stet: "Someday I want to be like Daddy so I can fly airplanes. And someday I want to be like Mommy so I can reach stuff."


Avery to Stet: "Actually the REAL toothfairy lives in Canada and when you lose a tooth she flies down here with her bag, and when you're asleep she puts a new one in your mouth."


Mom explaining bullies: "They're picking on him, they're giving him a hard time."
Stet: "Why aren't they giving him a soft time?"


Stet: "I don't like it when you're mean to me, it feels me sad."


Stet: "What does sacred mean?"
Mom: "It means something really special, even to Heavenly Father and Jesus, like the temple."
Avery: "Or like when Mom and Dad kiss on the lips, that's sacred, right?"
Mom: "Absolutely (and don't you EVER forget it)!"


Avery: "I had my penny in my mouth 'cause I wanted to do a jumping fish, but then I swallowed it!!!"


Stet: "You know what I please bless you'd in my prayer? I please bless you'd that there wouldn't be a 'Fiji-Man' or a 'Getting Chair'."


And just in case you'll be traveling to Spradlinica anytime soon, here's a Stetsonese to English translator:
Yorget = yogurt
I bless you'd = I sneezed
candy ball = cannon ball
jump grasser = grasshopper
diaper sugar = baby powder